“To love at all is to be vulnerable.” C. S. Lewis
Whether we are male or female, we shouldn’t have to give up everything we are to be in a relationship with anyone else. Even if you accept the person as they are, be prepared for changes in that person and also in yourself sometime in the future. Hair styles change, fashion changes, weight changes, knowledge changes, etc. Discuss the intangibles before attaching yourself to another person. Ask the “What if” questions.
Too many times on television shows or in movies, women are depicted as loud mouths. The shows depict that the men always give in to everything the bully (wife or girlfriend) wants. The women are always raging in the top of the house, which the Bible discourages in the book of Proverbs chapter 31. The passage describes a woman with prospects. I soon tire of those shows and stop watching.
The wife/mother in the tv show “Are we there yet?”
The wife/mother in the tv show “Everyone Hates Chris”
The wife/mother in the tv show “Everyone Loves Raymond”
The wife in the tv show “The King of Queens”
Janet Jackson played a raging wife in the movie “Why Did I Get Married Too”. In the first movie, Janet’s character had the answer to everything, but she had lost her mind by the sequel. Mind you, I didn’t see any reason for her to be raging that counseling over the death of her son wouldn’t have helped. Guilt can make you do strange things.
The wife in the television movie, “Men Don’t Tell”, didn’t just rage, but physically abused her husband who was a regular guy who would have not taken that kind of abuse from a man. What she did to him was unusual.
The husband in the movie, N-Secure, married a beautiful woman and immediately tried to drastically change her appearance and where she could go. I believe what you did to attract the person initially or what you were attracted to in another person shouldn’t be drastically changed because you are in a relationship. The husband ended up trying to kill his wife because she wanted to escape his abusive ways.
In the movie, How to Make an American Quilt, a wife who was a former swimmer, stifled her own ambitions after marriage and pregnancies. Marriage counseling might have done her some good. She broke up her own family because of her insecurities.
I don’t believe there is such a thing as a 50/50 relationship. Who determines what goes into the formula which results in that half and half? Get in where you can fit in. Each partner in the relationship should be able to stand on his/her own feet and bring something to the table.
Some people say that prenuptial agreements before a marriage spell doom for the marriage. I disagree. Each party should bring something to the table other than sex or money. If all you want is sex, it would be cheaper to just pay for it without marriage. What about personality, goals, plans, etc.? If all you want is money, be honest about it, and get hired by the potential partner.
And, what happens after you marry or hook-up? Marriages or partnerships may not work out even with the best of intentions. For instance, in the movie, The Leisure Seeker, an elderly couple discovered that each had been unfaithful at some point during their marriage. And, this was a couple who thought they had a perfect marriage.
How does this sound—one fourth of the time for self, one fourth for your partner/husband/wife, one fourth for children, one fourth for work? That would include date nights with the husband/wife/partner, outings with either’s friends, and outings with the kids (school projects, sports, etc.). If each has the other’s welfare at heart, the relationship may work.
Written by Rosa L. Griffin