Cravings of the Junk Food Kind

Milk, chocolate cake, potato chips, coffee, and Coca-Cola are my cravings. What do these five items have in common?   They are the things that I can’t live without.

When I was pregnant, I couldn’t get enough milk. I drank white milk before work, during work (several small cartons) and after work. My baby came out covered in white film. My son and I use two gallons or more a week to this day. Then, my milk monkey led to harder stuff like yogurt (the pure stuff, not that frozen kind), sour cream, butter milk, cottage cheese, etc.

For the most part, my cravings are empty calories of fat, caffeine, and sugar. In high school, I used my parents’ hard-earned money to buy chocolate cake, potato chips, and cola for lunch daily. No wonder I was constipated so often.

When I find Berman’s chocolate cake, the dark chocolate icing and the yellow cake taunt me to the point of lust. But, when I get it home, sanity returns, and I eat a tiny slice per day until it is gone!

When I was young, Mrs. Ihrie’s was the queen of potato chips, but now, I have to have Utz potato chips every time I am near Lexington Market in downtown Baltimore or other places. The sharp shards of micro-thin hard-fried potato slivers pass dangerously among tongue, gums, and inside walls of my mouth avoiding injury unless I laugh at an inopportune time at “Big Bang Theory”, “Meet the Browns” or “My Name is Earl”.

A good chip is nothing without its complementary beverage, Coca-cola. After all, if the “real thing” can dissolve the acid from my car battery, what more proof do I need?

Now, coffee is a sin all by itself. It has to be a sin to smell so sexual everywhere I go that I have to have it whether at McDonald’s or Dunkin Donuts. I blame my father for introducing me to coffee that was literally whitened by milk!

Every time a certain body part develops a discomfort, I put that craving aside for another day. I get my cranberry juice, antacid, and/or water regimen on until I feel my kidneys, bladder, esophagus, and/or intestines have been revived. Then, I can let in a little more sin.

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